Easter ..new beginings

I know EASTER is all about new beginnings as is SPRING..and I do think that every year but this year had even more meaning.

My 15 year old Ky has been suffering from a flare up of Crohns disease for the last few months.It has been way to tough for us all.He had been in remission for years and though I hate to admit it I had taken his health for granted . He knew certain things not to eat and he was very very disciplined about it.But other than the diet changes , I felt like he was going to be in remission forever..Then it hit like a brick upside the head.

He had to start home bound schooling, quit in the middle of his best wrestling season , became alienated by his friends etc..He even had to stay at his dads more and away from his siblings because of the chance of coming in contact with more germs.It was awful.

Now I know how blessed I ill am ,believe me..there are parents out there burying their children, living in hospitals etc.I know how lucky I am to have three other children that are soo healthy .But it was still very heartbreaking , very frustrating..

There is no other feeling that I can compare more heartbreaking than feeling so useless, and helpless. Seeing my child in pain, yellow skin, loosing weight...I am a fixer , I am the control freak I suppose . When something is broken in my family or household I have to fix it..Mot mothers are..well knowing there was nothing I could do almost put me under. I truly had to have faith, and that is hard to hand over.

Anyway back to the topic..Sunday was the first day that Ky was able to sit down with us since Thanksgiving and eat with us.The first time he looked HEALTHY !! He has gained eight, he has less pain less bleeding, has more control and understanding of his body and what is wrong with him.

It was wonderful !! Having all of my children and Em (future D.I.L.) sitting there eating and laughing, and having the sun shine through the windows after a looong rough winter was sooo perfect. Our own Rockwell painting . I was soo thankful and grateful.

I looked over at him at one point and felt soo much joy I could have burst.He was smiling, laughing, taking, eating, and seemed so NORMAL..SO KY.

I felt like it was a new beginning for us all, for him especially.

when something like this happens..let me ell you it really puts things into perspective.Its a shame that it takes this to bring the light to our eyes.but it usually does.

AND I have seen the light ..I vow to never, ever take their health for granted again..

I will not be hit in the head with a ton of bricks again...dammit..